No, I did not throw up on the cruise ship. It was a struggle, but I managed.
I had heard stories about the buffets on cruise ships: stories about people gaining thirty pounds in one night after eating everything on the menu; stories about waiters loaded like donkeys with dessert trays on either side; stories about the mountains of food you could climb up and slide down into a giant tub of chocolate pudding.
Needless to say, I was excited.
We ate in a restaurant called the Crystal Room. Wearing my newly-purchased evening-ish gown, gold sweater shrug, and carrying a borrowed evening bag, I readied myself for an evening of over-eating. Eep and I settled into our blue and chrome chairs and looked at the table. I had never seen so much silverware at one place setting. Three forks, two knives, two spoons, and a little butter knife stared up at me, as if in challenge.
"Oh, yes," I muttered, eyeing the silverware, "I will use each and every one of you."
I did my best. I ate a potato tart, two rolls, conch chowder, carrots, broccoli, herb-marinated chicken, apple crisp, and sugar-free cheesecake. At the end of the meal, I glared at the salad fork and the dessert spoon, smugness painted on the silver tines and concave bowl. However, I was not yet defeated. Before the waiter whisked them away, I picked up each of them and licked them.
That counts, right?
Post Script: Eep and I stayed in a small, inside cabin with no windows, two creaky twin beds, and a thermostat set to exactly 16 degrees Fahrenheit. The apparent thought process behind the freezing temperature was that to compensate for the balmy 88 degrees outside, everyone had to turn into a human Popsicle overnight. Luckily, we woke up before that happened and were able to thaw outside.
Post Post Script: Follows is a short video of the entertainment: a talented singer by the name of Tricia Kelly. Enjoy.
Post Post Script: I will upload the video when I have access to an internet service that will let me upload.
