I threw my little sister in front of a chainsaw-wielding madman yesterday. I heard the rev of the motor somewhere off to my right and saw the wave-like rustle of the corn as he ran towards us. Without hesitation, I snatched Lil' Sis' arm and tossed her closer to the edge of the path while shrieking my lungs out. I closed my eyes, waiting to hear the sound of chain blade meeting flesh.
After a moment, I opened an eye.
Lil' Sis laughed, her shoulders shaking, her face pale and slightly menacing in the moonlight. "Hoo, boy, Hannah," she chuckled. She might have wiped a tear from her eye. "Let's keep going."
She grabbed my elbow and steered me down the path.
I did my level best to stay in the exact middle. I wanted as much room between me and the crazies as I could get. I heard the chain saw moving further away and breathed a sigh of relief.
"I didn't know it was going to be a haunted corn maze," I murmured, softly so as to prevent that guy with the clown mask from getting a lock on our position.
Lil' Sis beamed, her canines lengthening. I blinked rapidly, and her teeth were back to normal.
"Neither did I," she replied, a little too loudly for my sense of security.
I scowled. "I mean, when someone says, 'Let's go to a corn maze', this is not what I--"
BANG!
I screamed and jumped away from the sound. A tall, menacing person in black and an unidentifiable mask loomed out of the darkness. He held a short stick in one hand and banged it against the barrel again. I twitched and Lil' Sis snickered.
"Keep going," she encouraged, her hands pressing into my back. "You have to be in front."
"--why anyone would want to bang on metal barrels is beyond me," I muttered when I remembered how to breathe.
The rest of the haunted portion followed its precedent. A person dressed in frightening apparel would lunge out or bang a barrel or invade my personal space and I would scream while Lil' Sis would laugh. Rinse. Repeat. We made it to the end without losing any body parts, major or otherwise.
"I just come to watch you freak out," Lil' Sis said at one point - which is why I felt fully justified in using her as a human shield.
Too bad she makes such a small one.
After a moment, I opened an eye.
Lil' Sis laughed, her shoulders shaking, her face pale and slightly menacing in the moonlight. "Hoo, boy, Hannah," she chuckled. She might have wiped a tear from her eye. "Let's keep going."
She grabbed my elbow and steered me down the path.
I did my level best to stay in the exact middle. I wanted as much room between me and the crazies as I could get. I heard the chain saw moving further away and breathed a sigh of relief.
"I didn't know it was going to be a haunted corn maze," I murmured, softly so as to prevent that guy with the clown mask from getting a lock on our position.
Lil' Sis beamed, her canines lengthening. I blinked rapidly, and her teeth were back to normal.
"Neither did I," she replied, a little too loudly for my sense of security.
I scowled. "I mean, when someone says, 'Let's go to a corn maze', this is not what I--"
BANG!
I screamed and jumped away from the sound. A tall, menacing person in black and an unidentifiable mask loomed out of the darkness. He held a short stick in one hand and banged it against the barrel again. I twitched and Lil' Sis snickered.
"Keep going," she encouraged, her hands pressing into my back. "You have to be in front."
"--why anyone would want to bang on metal barrels is beyond me," I muttered when I remembered how to breathe.
The rest of the haunted portion followed its precedent. A person dressed in frightening apparel would lunge out or bang a barrel or invade my personal space and I would scream while Lil' Sis would laugh. Rinse. Repeat. We made it to the end without losing any body parts, major or otherwise.
"I just come to watch you freak out," Lil' Sis said at one point - which is why I felt fully justified in using her as a human shield.
Too bad she makes such a small one.
I think you need a bigger shield.
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