Departure

Mr. Million and Chi came over on Monday to help pack. I sat in the living room with all of my clothing and accoutrements strewn all over and watched as Lil' Sis, Chi, Mr. Million and Mom packed everything in my two suitcases. I felt stretched and brittle, tears threatening to blind me as we debated which shirts to leave home and which to take.

Wednesday, I said goodbye to Mom, trying not to cry, because if I started I knew I wouldn't go. Poochie seemed bewildered. She stayed under the table, her tail thumping hesitantly as I scratched her ears and told her I'd be back.

"Open this over the Pacific Ocean," Mom said, pressing an envelope in my hand.

I took it and shoved it in my bag, nodding. "I will."

Then I left, ripping off a Goodbye like a sticky band-aid. I waved to Mom as she stood in the car headlights. I don't know if she could see it or not.

We picked up Mr. Million and drove to the airport. After baggage check, we sat behind the stairs as I fiddled with the sea-bands rumored to stave off motion-sickness. (Note: They really work. I didn't throw up once.)

Then upstairs to the security check. Lil' Sis and Mr. Million couldn't go through security as they did not have a boarding pass. We hugged goodbye, tears pricking my eyes red. Another fast Goodbye and I moved to the line.

"We'll wait until you get through security," Lil' Sis said.

I craned over the heads of people behind me, trying to see them. I caught a glimpse of Mr. Million's hat, the sleeve of Lil' Sis' shirt. I blinked and the crowd parted for a moment. The last image was Lil' Sis smiling at something Mr. Million had said. Then the gap closed and I moved forward.

I sat in my window seat and looked out the window. The plane took off and I stared through blurry eyes at the familiar roads. Flickering like a firefly was the thought that if I had sat on the other side, I could see the roof of my house. There's Bangerter Highway, there's 4100 South, there;s I-215, there's the Jordan River. And there's Utah Lake, reflecting the sky like a broken mirror, clouds rippling across the silver-blue surface. Then the plane lifted higher until I could see nothing but white. So I closed the window and shut my eyes.